Monday, April 23, 2012

Fat is No Fun

If you are an animal, fat is no fun. 

It probably isn't fun for a human either, but if you have gorged yourself to the size of a beached whale, I don't care if you have fun.

There are people with pea-sized brains who apparently equate love with food and almost love their pets to death.  Dogs and cats get all the same fat related diseases that people get, feel just as miserable, then die.

The difference is that pets are victims of their human owners.  Fat humans have choices.

People who are too stupid or lazy to care for a pet and her health should not be allowed to have a pet and should be caged.

This little bundle of fur name Meow is almost 40 pounds.  She is currently in a shelter and on a weight loss diet.

I rest my case.

Happy Trails!
Mimi McMouth

Monday, March 19, 2012

Do You Think Mitten Might Be Out of Touch?

"Yikes! These stiff denim trousers, uh I mean dungarees, I mean uh jeans are shoving my weird Mormon underwear right up my ass!  How the hell do you redneck morons wear these all the time?"
"I don't know who this yayhoo is or what language he's speaking, but these hillbillies seem to like him.  I'll just smile and pretend to understand.
"Here's the bottom line, old lady. I'm a billionaire. I'm interested in more money and more power. If you think I give a rat's ass about your pathetic little life, you're even stupider than you look. Deal with it."

Happy Trails,
Mimi McMouth 

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Tell Me Again. How Many Wives Do I Get?

No, Grandpa had four wives.  I only have three.  Three good Christian wives.  Get it right, cracker.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Four Most Obscene 4-Letter Words

Forget the F-bomb and the C word.  The four most obscene four-letter words in the English language, in no particular order, are:




and RUSH

Happy Trails,

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Friday, March 9, 2012

Who Knew Mormons Ate Babies?

Mormons are even sillier than mainstream Christians, if that's possible.   The godly silent majority basically views Mormonism as a cult.  They probably don't realize how screwed up Mormons really are.  I wonder if they know that Mitt Romney eats babies.

"I just love babies ... a little spicey, a little sweet ... just so delicious!"

Happy Trails,

Monday, February 13, 2012

God Doesn't Really Love Everyone, But Santa Does

I find it amazing that so many people still believe the Jesus story, his filicidal father and their flying sidekick, the holy ghost. 

They steadfastly cling to the belief that instead of dying, the will live forever with Jesus and friends. 

Believers are able to section off portions of their brains to engage in magical thinking.  

Facts and data become irrelevant.

Like the fact that the rule book of this cobbled together, cooked up religion of the Bronze Age was decided by a committee of politicians a couple of hundred years after Jesus was romping around the Middle East.

Why?  Why?  Why?

Mimi will tell you.

All believers are former children. 

Their Mummies and Daddies told them about Santa and told them about Jesus.  Children will believe anything. 

So why did they stop believing in Santa but still believe in Jesus? 

No one ever told them they would burn in Hell if they didn't believe in Santa.

Mimi loves you.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Hey Mitt! Show us your underwear!

I just read Mitt Romney's bio on  It's missing some information.

Like the time his grandfather fled the US to Mexico to live because polygamy was outlawed.  Grandpa took all the grandmas with him too.

Okay.  That's a low blow.  Sorry.

Think about this.

Does this look presidential?